cat out of the bag

over the last five years i've started a lot of things i haven't finished.
i try hard to catch inspiration when it hits,
but it takes a lot of discipline to focus and follow through.
especially when you don't know quite what it's for.

is it for a band? but what if the band doesn't like it?
i shouldn't finish the recording if we might do it as a band.
is it for a solo album? but it doesn't fit with the other songs.

so i built a mountain of half-songs,
and every time i think about starting a new one,
i feel it looming over my shoulder.
how can i finish this new song
when there is so much work to do back on the mountain?
but i try to capture the inspiration
because maybe someday there will be no more.

in the end i just throw it on the pile with the rest.
so the mountain grows.
and the more special i think something is,
the scarier it is to finish it,
so the mountain grows.

today i have started chipping away at the mountain.
allison helped me sort through the rubble
and we realized there are probably about three or four albums here.
i don't know what i'm going to do with them
but i'm going to finish them.
i am going to finish them.

these albums will not make sense,
but i'm finally going to get out of song debt.

it is worth mentioning
that mason proper is in the planning stage of another recording as well.
which will surely make a lot more sense than any of this.